Tips for Online Dating Messaging

August 20, 2019

It usually depends on the end game, but for our purposes let’s look at this through the filter of requesting an actual date. Perhaps a little funny business could ensue at the end of said date, but that type of hook up should not require too many tips…via messaging.

You have created the dating app profile, which is hopefully a fairly honest representation of you; let’s continue along that line. First things first, read the person’s profile you are about to message and pick something out that you can relate to or are curious about. Send your first message with a question that pertains to that topic. This reassures the person that not only did you think they looked cute on top of that pineapple-shaped pool float but you also found it interesting that they only drink iced coffee…even during the winter…and apparently you really like basics. But preferences aside, showing an investigated, no matter how top level, interest is thoughtful. Asking them a question displays you want to know more about them. Everyone is a unique butterfly, let them know you see that about them.

Most people using dating apps have heard the cheesy one-liners, so do not fall back on, “How is someone as cute as you still single?” or the even more blasé “How’s your week going?” If being cute were all it took, they probably wouldn’t be on the dating app to begin with. Asking how a week is going will get one of two responses – blasé back, “good” or just bounced back to you, “Good and you?” and now you know nothing more about this person and have nowhere to go with continued messaging. Show off your own unique personality with a truly individualistic jump off.

Through a bit of crowdsourcing, I have cherry picked a few gems:

“Call me pizza and tell me I’m pretty – wanna grab a slice?”

“Your pictures are great, but serious question…where have you not been?”

“I like your look, want to look at each other while we eat spaghetti?”

They are not for everyone, but a little giggle is a great ice-breaker. Making someone smile opens them up and makes them want more of that good feeling. If comedic timing is not your strength, still keep the opener light. From there you can weigh how serious to get in your follow through by their responses.

Once that first cast is thrown out and the fish is hooked, keep them there! If you are truly interested and they have responded likewise, ask more questions about them, in a timely manner. Keep a banter going if you can, if not, they may not be the right person, or they may be at work. It is usually best to do your app-ing post-work or during the weekend.  This gives your (possible) mate the chance to put thought into their responses and show their true self as well. 

Do not let it go on too long. A few quips back and forth should be enough to tell if this will be a worthwhile date or not. Once “worthwhile status” is achieved, make a plan! Be assertive by offering the location and stating that you will make a reservation (if needed). This small gesture will get you a ton of brownie points, I 100% guarantee it. 

From there I only have one more tip, be on time. Ready, set, Tinder!

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